Monday, December 28, 2009

6 weeks

I am 6 weeks pregnant today. I had my HCG checked last Monday and it was 3900! That is a really great number, so I was pretty happy, but over the last few days I haven't been feeling like things were going well. It was just a lot of panicked thoughts. I wasn't too excited for my doctor's appointment this morning, thinking things weren't going well. I wasn't sure what the doctor was going to do. She ended up wanting to do an ultrasound, which had me even more worried. I have never had a good ultrasound. I've never made it far enough to see a heartbeat and I wasn't sure this time if I was far enough along to see one. However, things look great! There was a heartbeat and it looked and sounded perfect! I am very relieved. That's another hurdle passed. I am still nervous, but feeling a bit better about it all. I go back in for another ultrasound on the 13th, so hopefully everything still looks good. I will probably start panicking again in a few days or so. I probably won't feel totally fine until after the first trimester, only another 6 weeks to go! Here is a picture they made from the ultrasound today. There isn't much to see, but I thought I'd add it anyway.


Monday, December 21, 2009

5 weeks

I am exactly 5 weeks pregnant today. I have been trying to pretend like I'm not pregnant for the last several days. I didn't want to get my hopes up too high. I am still trying not to get my hopes up, but I get a glimmer of hope today. I had my blood drawn a 2nd time last Thursday and got a call with the results today. My HCG had risen to 560, which means a doubling time of 1.3 days. I actually found a website to calculate it. :) That is very good news. My doctor wanted to check my levels every 3 days until they reach 1500, so they were well on their way last week. I had my blood drawn again today. By my calculations I should be at the very least 2250 today, but probably more in the 3000-4000 range based on my previous doubling time. If they are that high it would be really excellent news. I'm anxiously awaiting those results. Hopefully I will hear tomorrow, if not then Wednesday. I am now on my 7th day of Lovenox injections. It has been pretty easy to do. I have several tiny bruises, but they aren't really much at all. As far as other symptoms go, I haven't been really sick. I feel a bit off when I eat sometimes, but I haven't wanted to throw up at all. I am extremely exhausted though, and I get dizzy once in a while. My boobs also constantly hurt, so I guess those are all good signs. Its just a big waiting game now. It will be really nice to see a heartbeat on an ultrasound. I'm not sure when that will happen, but hopefully within the next couple of weeks. I see the doctor for the 1st time next Monday and I will definitely discuss it with her.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


I got a positive pregnancy test on Sunday afternoon. It was a bit of a shock actually because I really didn't think I was pregnant this month. I wasn't even going to take the test, but decided to for whatever reason. I took another one the next morning just to be on the safe side. :) So, now the fun begins. I called the doctor on Monday morning and made an appointment for the 28th. I couldn't get one before that. I don't really need it though. What I really needed was the Lovenox prescription. That's the injectable blood thinner I have to be on for this to hopefully work. My doctor wanted to do a blood test first to confirm the pregnancy and get a baseline on my hormone levels. I had my blood drawn Monday afternoon and got the results today. The nurse called and told me my progesterone levels are very high, so that's great news. Then she said the HCG level is a bit low, 117, but that is probably because its so early in the pregnancy. At this point I choose to believe that. I have to get my HCG levels checked every three days now until they reach at least 1500. So, I go back on Thursday for another blood draw. Here's hoping it is at least 500 by then. That's what it should be by my calculations. I'm trying not to get too hung up on that number though.

Today I got my blood thinner prescription filled and then drove up to the doctor's office to get an injection lesson. The syringes are pre-filled and the needles are really small, so its extremely easy. The nurse said I did a great job for my first time and it didn't hurt at all. I was pleasantly surprised because I have been dreading this part. I can do this for 9 months without a problem, so that's one less thing to worry about. I'm trying to remain optimistic about this pregnancy, but its still hard. I just keep thinking its going to end badly again. I guess time will tell. There is no use in worrying about it.

If everything works out correctly my due date (according to the internet) is August 23rd. Of course, I will be induced at least 2 weeks prior to that time, so the baby will most likely be born in the first week of August. I really hope the third time is the charm!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Live firing range

We are on a live firing range. Kelli thought she was knocked up this month. Pregnancy test showed negative. Then the monthly visitor arrived. We will try again next time. Meantime we are thinking of hitting Vegas next month.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Gattca....not only a great movie....also a part of the DNA strand. Tonight my wife and I were discussing offspring and the topic of prenatal testing came up. A "discussion" followed.

I am in the belief that, if possible, why not have the most perfect child possible? If prenatal testing shows birth defects, then that's just nature's way of saying "oops". These "oops" happen. They have happened twice before too us. If prenatal testing shows Down Syndrome....I would rather not complete the pregnancy. My wife on the other hand thinks I am crazy.

And with this post, is re-acivated.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Not always easy

A good friend of mine is a single mother of a newborn. She is going through of one of the things I fear. Low/no money while having to take care of a kid. I can eat on crap food from McDonalds if we ever get low on money. Babies have no teeth. Here is a small portion of her blog over at

I’ve learned what it means to go to bed hungry – and not just because I’m on a starvation diet again! :P I’ve learned how to set a budget for meals for myself for under $10 a week. Sure, it’s not the healthiest of food, but it works…
It’s painful to fill up my car, even though I have a much more economical gas tank now than with my truck… it makes me sigh every time I withdraw money for daycare… I now make sure I have at least 3 giant cans of formula in the house (using the coupons the formula companies send it’s almost affordable) to ensure that my son is well fed… but it still makes me sigh when I have to buy it… I’ve switched to Luvs diapers (they really ARE just as good as the expensive brands and do work just as well…), I switched my dog and cats to a cheaper brand of food – they are doing just fine on it… I no longer have internet access or tv service in my house… (I pilfer wireless signals from neighbours when needed…)… a good friend sends me the clothes her son outgrows so I can hold off buying clothes for a bit…

I always have backup plans. I have them when it's not even needed. It's part of who I am. I like being in control....the first two tries at having a kid showed me I can't control everything.

Friday, April 24, 2009


We are still hanging out. Kelli is all in. I am pretty in. What's the hold up? Well me. I really like our lifestyle. Being able to wake up on a Saturday morning and have one of us say, "hey let's go to the Atlanta," and then GO to Atlanta is fun. I like being free. I don't care much for Kelli's dogs. They are hers. I let them outside and give them water. Beyond that I am free from making sure they stay alive.

People who have kids always say it's different when it's YOUR kid. Apparently when one has a kid their lives become better. I'm very skeptical. People who have kids HAVE to say that. They can't say, "oh god this sucks. I hate that we had a kid!" I mean it's the same reason no one says "my baby is ugly," even if it really is ugly. No one can say their baby is ugly.

Will we have a kid? Don't know. I am waffling. Unlike a lease, once you have a kid it's yours for the next 18 years. Maybe someone should start a kid leasing business. Hmmm....I bet there is a law against it. Damn the man.

Kelli is very understanding of my feelings. Two years ago I was gung ho. After the first loss I was torn apart. We had an "oops" and got pregnant again. The loss after that one was worse than the first. I was really scared off having a kid.

Since then Kelli had been put on a regimen of pills and tonics. Ok no tonics...but pills and everything *should* be okay. But what if it's not? No one can say it will be okay....because they don't know. Of course one won't know if they don't try. Waffling.

How long will I waffle? Well this website is paid up through May 2010. If we decide to go for it there will be a post. If we call everything off....then this website will cease to exist.

Till something happens I welcome you to enjoy the antics of our other fine websites, and

Monday, March 16, 2009

Pills, Pills, Pills

My doctor's appointment last week went well.  I talked with the doctor for a while and got some questions answered.  I have been taking an over the counter prenatal vitamin up to this point.  I haven't filled the prescription yet because we weren't going to start trying for at least 2 more months.  I hadn't started taking the folic acid supplements yet either.  My doctor really wanted me to start taking those now so my system is completely prepared for when I do get pregnant.  She also wants me to keep taking a baby aspirin daily to help keep my blood thinned out.  I can take the aspirin all the way throughout my pregnancy as there is absolutely no risk to the baby.  In addition, they did a routine iron test and I am now anemic.  My doctor thinks its a dietary problem.  I very rarely eat beef or any other meat for that matter.  She told me to take an iron supplement and eat more beef.  So, now I am on a pill regimen.  Every morning I take 1 baby aspirin, 1 iron supplement, 1 prenatal vitamin which is really 2 pills because it has a DHA pill too, and 1 folic acid pill.  Then, every evening I take a second folic acid pill.  I have a really hard time remembering to take pills so I keep them in the bathroom so its really obvious.  Plus, Darren has set up reminders in my phone so I can't forget.  The evening pill is the hardest to remember, so the reminder is really nice.  We are making a conscious effort to add extra meat to our diets too.  Its not that I'm a vegetarian, its just that I'm lazy.  Meat products take more effort to prepare than lean pockets and easy mac.  I am trying really hard to be as healthy as possible.  I have also quit caffeine again and I am exercising most days.  Its my goal to do everything possible to make this next try at pregnancy easy and successful.  My doctor is very confident that this next time will go very well, and I trust her judgement.  I really couldn't ask for a better doctor for my situation.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Another Doctor's Appointment

I am going back to my doctor on Tuesday.  This time its just for my annual appointment though.  It's definitely one of my least favorite things to do, but I have a bunch of questions I'm looking forward to getting answered.  I wrote them all down so I won't forget.  I have 2 more months of birth control pills after this and then I am pretty sure we are going to start trying again.  It all depends on Darren of course.  That really bothers me, but what can I do?  Its one of the most important decisions a person can ever make and we both have to be on board with it.  I have been really frustrated this past month with Darren wanting to wait more.  I feel like I've waited long enough and now that we have an answer and a plan of action I want to just go ahead and try again.  I don't agree with waiting more, but I have come to accept it.  Darren can have the control on this one, to an extent.  Like I said before, I only have 2 months of pills left and I will not be getting a refill prescription this week.  Hopefully we will be on the same page with things by then.  If we were to try in May it would put my due date at the middle of February, but the baby would most likely be born at the very end of January.  We will see how it goes.  I guess there isn't much else to say until then so this page will continue to be infrequently updated.  I hope to eventually have lots to say though!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Screw odds

I like being in control. I'm not a control freak....but I understand those that are. I have a hard time riding as a passenger in a car. Kelli knows this and rarely drives me around. When she does she puts on "Darren blockers" and blocks out my random comments on her driving. Ever since I started flying I can hardly control myself when I sit in the back as a passenger. I want to be the one in the cockpit with all the information possible and the ability to control things.

This whole egg & sperm magic trick...many call conception and the resulting offspring....many call a something I have absolutely zero control over. Well I have control over the initial delivery.....but after that....I am a passenger. For 9 months I will be a passenger in the back of the baby flight. So many things can go wrong. Even after thousands of years of humans making humans...accidents and problems arise everyday. I don't deal with odds. The odds are higher that one will die slipping in the shower than in a plane crash...but ya know what...I am in control every time I shower and most of the time I fly.

I deal with stress very well. Flying through turbulence,rain and lightening will barely cause a change in my heart rate. I've got two months to work on figuring out how to deal with not being in control whatsoever for 9 months.

Too bad science hasn't perfected the insta-baby....or the science used in the movie GATTACCA.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

There are lots of people like me!

I have been doing some internet research over the last couple of days and I found a lot of great stuff. It turns out this is a more common problem than I thought and there are a lot of people with successful pregnancy stories. My doctor's prescription is a common treatment and should work just fine. I am confident about it now. I even found a forum for people like me, Its proven very helpful so far.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Finally some real answers, and hopefully a solution

First of all, thanks to my husband for that accurate and oh so technical explanation to my problem. I'm sure everyone understood exactly what he was talking about. Gotta love him! Anyway, my appointment the other day went better than I expected it to. Way back when we were originally doing all those tests my doctor told me I had 2 problems. The first was the protein C deficiency and the 2nd was the MTHFR mutation. Those are the reasons she sent me to the hematologist. Well, the hematologist repeated the tests and told me I was normal after all.  I was pretty upset about it and that's when we decided to forget about baby stuff for a while. Since the hematologist told me I was normal last time I fully expected to go in and have the doctor tell me there wasn't much else she could test for. However, it turns out the hematologist's office was pretty misleading. Apparently when they told me I was normal they just meant I don't actually have a protein C deficiency. My doctor has explained that incorrect result as not a lab error but my hormone imbalance from the miscarriage. However, I do still have that mutation and it is my problem. This mutation doesn't cause me problems in my daily life, just if I'm pregnant. The good news is there is a solution and my doctor is pretty confident it will work. The plan is this, when we start trying to conceive I have to take a prenatal vitamin plus an additional 6 folic acid supplements every day. My body doesn't absorb folic acid very well, so I have to take it in massive doses to make sure the fetus absorbs enough. Then, once I get a positive pregnancy test I have to call the doctor as soon as possible to get a confirmatory blood test done. Once the positive blood test comes back then I have to start daily injections of a blood thinner. This mutation I have causes tiny blood clots to form in the developing placenta and they block its formation. This is why development stopped so early with the previous 2 pregnancies. The placenta couldn't form, so the fetus couldn't form either. I have to do the injections everyday throughout the entire pregnancy. Overall I think it seems like a pretty simple solution and I have high hopes that this will work. Now all we have to do is start trying. I don't know when it will happen. I have put it all on Darren. I am ready now, but I don't know what he wants to do. He just keeps going on about how November/December birthdays suck. I don't want to put it off just because of that. We will see what happens. We also have to remember that whatever my due date is we need to subtract a couple of weeks. My doctor says that because of the blood thinner I will have to be induced 2 to 3 weeks before my due date anyway. She says that the blood thinners can actually cause problems with the placenta at the very end so they want to get the baby out as soon as it is safe to do so. If we started trying right away, based on my cycle, I would be due around the 3rd week of November, but if I were to deliver early it would put me right at the end of October or first week of November, and there is nothing wrong with that. I guess I will just get to the end of my pill pack every month and ask Darren if he wants me to stop or start a new pack. Hopefully it won't be too long. There really isn't any reason to wait now.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

November and December Birthdays suck

Kelli went to the doctor today. The results are in. I don't know the technical details....I will leave that up for Kelli to post. The short of what she told me is she has a blood clotting issue which will only be a problem when she is pregnant. In order to correct the issue she will need mega folic acid pills and a shot of something in the stomach...everyday she is preggo. Yeah.

Unless we get preggo in the next week we aren't going to try until April/May at the earliest. Why? I don't like November/December birthdays. People with birthdays in those months get a huge shaft. Family and friends aren't around due to the holidays. If someone has a birthday within a week of Christmas then they get a Birthday/Christmas gift sent in the mail. Boo. Thus either we get instata preggo or hold off until a November/December birthday can be avoided.

Hmmm and to all those with birthdays in November/December or kids who have a birthday in November/December.....have fun with all that.