A Detour on the Journey.....

Well, I'm not sure how to say this other than to just say it. This week I had a miscarriage. Here's the story. On Monday morning I started having a small amount of spotting. It honestly wasn't enough to make me concerned, but I thought I'd call the doctor anyway just to be safe. They took a message and said a nurse would call me back. I then asked a couple of people at work if it was something I should be concerned about. Neither of the people I asked had experienced it, but my sister had and her pregnancy went just fine. The nurse called me back a few hours later and I told her what was going on. She wanted me to come in to the doctor right away. That made me really nervous, so I was pretty upset as I drove to the doctor. Once I got there they used the Doppler to try to find the baby's heartbeat. They couldn't pick it up, but said it wasn't unusual at 11 weeks to not find it. Then they sent me in for a sonogram. When I saw the sonogram picture I knew it didn't look right. There was an embryonic sac present, but no visible fetus. I know what a 12 week sonogram is supposed to look like. That was the moment it hit me that my pregnancy wasn't going to continue. Since this was the first sonogram they did they couldn't really tell what the problem was. The sac was measuring at 6.5 weeks. I was told I would have to wait another week and have a second sonogram to confirm that the pregnancy was no longer viable. That was really hard. I didn't want to worry about it for a whole week. Monday was a pretty sad day. I cried for a while, but I don't like to dwell on things. I accepted the inevitable and tried to focus on what would come next. I had some light spotting for the rest of the week, but it still wasn't enough to concern me. Well, that changed this morning. I was fine when I woke up and went to work like normal. Around 10:00am this morning I started cramping really badly. Then the bleeding started getting heavy and I began feeling sick. That's when I decided to head to the doctor. I told my supervisor and left work pretty abruptly. I know several of my coworkers were pretty concerned when I disappeared like that. I'm glad I work with people who care so much. :) I called the doctor on the way home and told them the situation. They took the message and said they would have the nurse call me back very soon. Lucky for me Darren was actually home today. I had just gotten home when the nurse called and said to come in right away. Darren drove me there thankfully. The doctor did another sonogram and confirmed that I was starting to miscarry. She then sent me directly across the street to the hospital to have a D&C. That really scared me! It ended up ok though. We went over and checked in. Then they got me all set up, put in an IV, and gave me the anesthesia to knock me out. The procedure only lasted about 15 minutes total. They had me stay at the hospital for an hour after I woke up and I was discharged around 4:30pm. Darren drove me to get food and then we came home. I am feeling great now! I am actually glad it happened today. Now I have a 3 day weekend to recover and I will be back to work on Tuesday good as new. Now we are just focusing on moving forward. There was nothing I could have done to prevent it. 20% of all recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage. It's just a fact of life and I accept it. We are looking forward to trying again as soon as we are able. I'm sure it will be just as easy the second time around. God has given us a do over. It's like he's saying "Well, that first one wasn't right, so go ahead and try again. It will be perfect the second time.". I really appreciate everyone's concern, but we really are fine. Darren is hoping I will be really pregnant around next August because he thinks then he will get a better deal on that FJ Cruiser he wants so badly. We'll see if that happens. I go back to the doctor for a follow up in 2 weeks and I will see what our next move is going to be. I'm hopeful we can start trying again maybe in October. Never fear though, this website is not going anywhere! This is part of our journey and I'm perfectly happy to share it with everyone. There just may be less frequent posts for a while.

Nostalgia.......

If you know me, you know I love all things from previous generations. I guess I am different that way. I love classic rock, 80s, and 90s music, as well as all old tv shows and old movies. I think my parents had a big influence on my interest in that stuff. I have several coworkers who are younger than me. I am only 28, but these kids are 25 and under. I am often surprised by what they don't know about popular culture history. We have a small group of people at work called the Automation team. One member of the group wanted to call themselves the A-Team (there are 4 of them). Well, the 2 girls on the team had no clue what the A-Team was! I was shocked! I mean, didn't we all watch the A-Team? It reran so many times I don't know how anyone could miss it. There was another instance at lunch last week. The song playing at the restaurant was the theme from "The Greatest American Hero". I loved that show! When I started singing the song and mentioned the show not one person knew what I was talking about. So sad! This morning I found a great channel. It's called Boomerang by Cartoon Network. I am now addicted. So far today I have watched several old Hanna Barbera cartoons, Popeye, the Smurfs, and the Snorks. Huckleberry Hound is up next! I hope you all know what these cartoons are. If not, you need to find this channel! I will be forcing my child to watch these shows. They are just such good old classics! I guess that's where we will have a good balance in this house. I love the old stuff and Darren likes the new. Together I think we will properly expose our child to every good thing out there. Of course, all his/her friends will then think he/she is a freak because of all this crazy knowledge, but that's ok! I know people think of me that way sometimes. :)

My First Baby Purchase....

I got this at Walgreen's of all places!  It was too cute and I couldn't resist.  It only came in the blue color, but I figured it was ok because girls can wear blue too.  Of course, if we end up having a boy I will get one of those pink shirts for him that say "Real Men Wear Pink".  Darren would just love that. LOL!  Darren is still planning on picking up a shirt from the American Airlines museum.  It said "Future Pilot Just Like My Dad".  This kid is going to have all kinds of cute shirts.  I only know how to buy t-shirts, so anything else purchased for our baby will have to come from mom or my sisters.  If left up to us our baby would have quite a strange wardrobe!

My clothes don't fit!!!

I wear scrubs to work every day of the week. Its really nice because I don't have to think about what to wear every day. I have always worn small scrubs. Within the last couple of weeks they have started getting tight. I'm not showing yet, but I have gained weight. My scrubs definitely still fit and I could probably go another few weeks at least with them, but they are just not comfortable anymore. Today I broke down and decided to buy some larger ones. I couldn't decide if I should try mediums or just go to large in anticipation of being huge later. My company won't pay for maternity scrubs, so this is all out of my pocket. I asked another coworker who is about my size what she used to wear when she was pregnant. She told me at the end she got up to an extra large! I couldn't believe that. She did have an almost 10 pound baby, but these scrubs are unisex and I can't believe she wore them that large. I just ended up going to the store and trying stuff on. I started with the large. It was pretty funny! I can't imagine I could ever be large enough to fit into those things. It was like wearing a tent! I guess I will find out later. I ended up getting the mediums. I bought 3 pairs of the cheap Dickies. I know there are 5 days in a week, but 3 pairs was $60 with the discount, so I guess I will be doing more laundry. The mediums are large enough that I think they will last for most of the pregnancy. I just have to make sure I don't gain 60 pounds.

Don't think its a boy

I am pretty certain it's a girl. No boy names have been seriously discussed. There have been a wave of girls being born lately. Yup. Gonna be a tom girl.

Back from vacation and boy am I tired!

I spent the last 10 days in Oregon visiting family, attending my 10 year high school reunion, and my brother's wedding.  It was all a lot of fun!  Of course neither of us took any pictures, but there were several hours of pictures taken by the photographer before, during, and after the wedding.  Some of them should be good anyway. :)  We got back into town yesterday afternoon and I am completely exhausted!  I know the pregnancy is making it much worse.  I feel like I would if I had mono.  I just don't have the energy to do much of anything.  At least I had today off work to recover.  I slept in this morning, so I feel a bit better.  I haven't had any other problems so far,  but I did gain more weight than I should have.  Normally I would be back on a diet now and the weight would come off quickly, but not this time.  I just have to suck it up and try not to gain any more before my sonogram.  This is going to be tougher than I thought.  I am almost 10 weeks along in the pregnancy now, and my first sonogram is at 12 weeks.  I'm really looking forward to it.  I think it will make this all seem more real.  Darren is so sure we are having a girl that he won't even consider boy names.  I'm not going to push it.  We will just wait until confirmation of what we are having.  There may not be a need to think of a boy name after all.  I should know for sure at the end of October or early November.