Friday, August 31, 2007

A Detour on the Journey.....

Well, I'm not sure how to say this other than to just say it. This week I had a miscarriage. Here's the story. On Monday morning I started having a small amount of spotting. It honestly wasn't enough to make me concerned, but I thought I'd call the doctor anyway just to be safe. They took a message and said a nurse would call me back. I then asked a couple of people at work if it was something I should be concerned about. Neither of the people I asked had experienced it, but my sister had and her pregnancy went just fine. The nurse called me back a few hours later and I told her what was going on. She wanted me to come in to the doctor right away. That made me really nervous, so I was pretty upset as I drove to the doctor. Once I got there they used the Doppler to try to find the baby's heartbeat. They couldn't pick it up, but said it wasn't unusual at 11 weeks to not find it. Then they sent me in for a sonogram. When I saw the sonogram picture I knew it didn't look right. There was an embryonic sac present, but no visible fetus. I know what a 12 week sonogram is supposed to look like. That was the moment it hit me that my pregnancy wasn't going to continue. Since this was the first sonogram they did they couldn't really tell what the problem was. The sac was measuring at 6.5 weeks. I was told I would have to wait another week and have a second sonogram to confirm that the pregnancy was no longer viable. That was really hard. I didn't want to worry about it for a whole week. Monday was a pretty sad day. I cried for a while, but I don't like to dwell on things. I accepted the inevitable and tried to focus on what would come next. I had some light spotting for the rest of the week, but it still wasn't enough to concern me. Well, that changed this morning. I was fine when I woke up and went to work like normal. Around 10:00am this morning I started cramping really badly. Then the bleeding started getting heavy and I began feeling sick. That's when I decided to head to the doctor. I told my supervisor and left work pretty abruptly. I know several of my coworkers were pretty concerned when I disappeared like that. I'm glad I work with people who care so much. :) I called the doctor on the way home and told them the situation. They took the message and said they would have the nurse call me back very soon. Lucky for me Darren was actually home today. I had just gotten home when the nurse called and said to come in right away. Darren drove me there thankfully. The doctor did another sonogram and confirmed that I was starting to miscarry. She then sent me directly across the street to the hospital to have a D&C. That really scared me! It ended up ok though. We went over and checked in. Then they got me all set up, put in an IV, and gave me the anesthesia to knock me out. The procedure only lasted about 15 minutes total. They had me stay at the hospital for an hour after I woke up and I was discharged around 4:30pm. Darren drove me to get food and then we came home. I am feeling great now! I am actually glad it happened today. Now I have a 3 day weekend to recover and I will be back to work on Tuesday good as new. Now we are just focusing on moving forward. There was nothing I could have done to prevent it. 20% of all recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage. It's just a fact of life and I accept it. We are looking forward to trying again as soon as we are able. I'm sure it will be just as easy the second time around. God has given us a do over. It's like he's saying "Well, that first one wasn't right, so go ahead and try again. It will be perfect the second time.". I really appreciate everyone's concern, but we really are fine. Darren is hoping I will be really pregnant around next August because he thinks then he will get a better deal on that FJ Cruiser he wants so badly. We'll see if that happens. I go back to the doctor for a follow up in 2 weeks and I will see what our next move is going to be. I'm hopeful we can start trying again maybe in October. Never fear though, this website is not going anywhere! This is part of our journey and I'm perfectly happy to share it with everyone. There just may be less frequent posts for a while.

1 comment:

  1. You are so strong, and I'm proud of you. Have fun trying again.
    Love you, sis.