Friday, April 4, 2008

I guess I have to say something

I hate that this happened again.  I hate even more that I had to go back to the hospital for another D&C.  I have no clue what's wrong, and its really hard to believe that we are having trouble having a baby.  You see and hear about people who have problems, but you never think it could happen to you, especially when there is absolutely no history of fertility problems in the family on either side.  Its even harder when I see shows like Maury Povitch.  I'm a big fan of those DNA paternity testing shows, but they are hard to watch this week.  How is it that all these complete idiots and trashy people can have babies with absolutely no problems, and I can't?  I am perfectly healthy and I do nothing wrong.  I wouldn't even drink caffeine or take any medication at all because I didn't want something to go wrong.  I know its beyond my control.  Its hard for both of us.  Darren seems a bit more discouraged than I am.  I hope he doesn't want to give up quite yet.  Even with all the pain I am hopeful.  We are going to do some investigation into what the problem is, and go from there.  Most of these problems can be easily fixed and I don't want to say we are out of the game until we know more about the problem.  The first step is to do a chromosome analysis on the placenta.  It should take 4 to 6 weeks for an answer.  If that comes back normal there are several other tests that can be performed, mostly easy blood tests.  Even if we never end up having a baby I would still like an answer, so I will do whatever tests the doctor wants to do.  It may take a while.  I'm not sure.  For now we are just going to live life like we have been.  We have lots of plans for the next few months to carry us through the summer, and then we will see what happens after that.  I will update things as test results come in.  I know there are lots of other people out there who have problems like us.  I guess most just never talk about it.  We are definitely not like most people.

Thursday, April 3, 2008


By: Darren Byrd

Here I sit in this waiting room
My wife has been taken away
People peek in every now and then
No windows in the room….not sure if it’s night or day

Going through this the first time
We were told it shouldn’t happen again
Again we drove to the hospital
Faint smile I try to pretend

That it doesn’t tear me apart
For my wife I have to appear strong
Starring off in the distance
I thumb through my MP3 player for another song

Is it too much to ask for a normal pregnancy
Literally millions have done it before
Flipping through the same miscarriage pamphlet
I let it fall from my fingers….to the floor

“Everything went smoothly,”
“Your wife is doing well”
“Gather your things and follow me,”
I felt horrible…but you couldn’t tell

Time to put my game face on
I enter the room and fake a smile
She slowly opens her eyes
The nurse says she’ll be back to check in a while

Initial here, Initial here, Sign
She is released and I leave to get the car
I know my way around this place too well
I take a short cut….three turns…not too far

Will we try again?
Right now I am not so sure
The pain of going through this twice is enough
A third time??? I’d rather not endure

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Gonna sit out for a while

Well we struck out again. Kelli went to the doctor Friday. During the sonogram the yolk sac measured for someone at 5 weeks while we were at 9 weeks. We went in again today to confirm everything. The D&C will be performed tomorrow. The doctor will then run test on the placenta to see what's going on. We will be taking a break and sitting on the sidelines for a while. At least for the rest of 2008. Will we try again? Dunno. Worst case scenario we can be the coolest Aunt and Uncle on the planet.