Friday, April 4, 2008

I guess I have to say something

I hate that this happened again.  I hate even more that I had to go back to the hospital for another D&C.  I have no clue what's wrong, and its really hard to believe that we are having trouble having a baby.  You see and hear about people who have problems, but you never think it could happen to you, especially when there is absolutely no history of fertility problems in the family on either side.  Its even harder when I see shows like Maury Povitch.  I'm a big fan of those DNA paternity testing shows, but they are hard to watch this week.  How is it that all these complete idiots and trashy people can have babies with absolutely no problems, and I can't?  I am perfectly healthy and I do nothing wrong.  I wouldn't even drink caffeine or take any medication at all because I didn't want something to go wrong.  I know its beyond my control.  Its hard for both of us.  Darren seems a bit more discouraged than I am.  I hope he doesn't want to give up quite yet.  Even with all the pain I am hopeful.  We are going to do some investigation into what the problem is, and go from there.  Most of these problems can be easily fixed and I don't want to say we are out of the game until we know more about the problem.  The first step is to do a chromosome analysis on the placenta.  It should take 4 to 6 weeks for an answer.  If that comes back normal there are several other tests that can be performed, mostly easy blood tests.  Even if we never end up having a baby I would still like an answer, so I will do whatever tests the doctor wants to do.  It may take a while.  I'm not sure.  For now we are just going to live life like we have been.  We have lots of plans for the next few months to carry us through the summer, and then we will see what happens after that.  I will update things as test results come in.  I know there are lots of other people out there who have problems like us.  I guess most just never talk about it.  We are definitely not like most people.

1 comment:

  1. Hi there Kelli.
    I know you don't know me - but I've been following your journey. My heart hurts for you & Darren.
    I've been through multiple losses, I've done the testing, the infertility treatments, even found a great online support group.
    If you want an ear to listen about anything please don't hesitate to reach out to me.
    You're a very strong woman! That comes across in all of your posts.
    All the best,