We took Natali out for the first time on Wednesday, when she was a week old. We walked around the mall for a bit and then we stopped for frozen yogurt at a new place called "Yogurt Story". It's no Big Spoon (in Sacramento), but it was pretty good. They have a yogurt flavor called "red velvet cake" that's probably the best flavor I have ever had. :) Thursday we went out again. We had Sweet Tomatoes for lunch then did a quick trip to Kohl's so Darren could pick up a couple of things for himself before our trip to Oregon. Natali was excellent on all of these trips. On Wednesday she slept through the entire trip, from the car ride, through the mall, and at the yogurt place. She didn't wake up until we got home again. Thursday she slept through the car ride and lunch, and then woke up when we were in Kohl's. I took her into the bathroom to change her diaper and then she decided she was hungry so I sat in there for a few minutes to feed her a bottle. That's where the comments started.
While I was in the bathroom a couple of women came in. The first 2 were very nice and made some sweet comments about Natali, but the third lady made a rude comment about me taking my baby out when she was so young. Now, I'm not a perfect parent. I don't claim to be, and I would never make judgmental comments about another person's parenting skills. Well, I take that back. I have made some comments when I see blatant bad parenting such as babies not in car seats, or the stupid parents letting their kids do whatever they want while they pay absolutely no attention. I am very judgmental of the girls on "Teen Mom" (I love that train wreck). Anyway, I really don't understand why people feel so strongly against taking a baby out of the house. Do you expect me to be a hermit for 2 months? I would go crazy. Darren and I would never put our baby in a situation that could harm her, and we don't believe going out in public will harm her. First, she was never even out of her car seat until the moment in Kohl's. Second, strangers were not touching her or getting near her to spread their germs. Third, its the middle of August and its not cold and flu season so there's less risk. Natali is healthy and happy and I don't see what the big deal is. What is the accepted age to take a baby out anyway? I have heard 2 weeks, but what's the difference? It's not like she has had any vaccinations by then. I don't think her immunity is any different between 1 week and 2 weeks. She is supposed to go to the doctor at 2 weeks. It seems to me she is more likely to get sick from the actual sick people at the doctor's office than from just being out in public.
Anyway, being out was a good test for us since we are planning on taking Natali on a plane ride tomorrow (gasp!). Let the judgmental people have a field day with that one. We are really looking forward to our trip and are very excited for the family to meet our sweet baby. We have planned our travel tomorrow very carefully so everything goes without a hitch. We are seasoned flyers, but not with a baby. We don't like to be stressed about things, so we have talked over what we are going to do very carefully. Hopefully it all goes smoothly. So far Natali has been an excellent traveler, so I expect this plane ride to be pretty easy. She could surprise us, but I don't think she will.
In other news, I have lost 14 pounds in just over a week. If only the rest would come off that easily. I think I may lose another 5 or so this easily, but the rest will take some work. I currently have about 20 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I also have just over 10 weeks left before I go back to work. I'm hoping to lose at least 15 more pounds by then. I can't do any exercise for another week, and then only walking. I can start more serious exercise again when Natali is a month old.
Darren has decided to use his FMLA leave when I go back to work. I am going back on November 1st, and then he wants to stay home through the end of the year. That means Natali will be able to stay out of daycare until she is about 5 months old. We are very lucky to be able to do this. I made sure it was what Darren wanted to do, and he said he did. It was his idea. He is an amazing father, and I am extremely lucky to have him. :) He will be an excellent stay at home dad!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Breastfeeding has failed :-(
Here is my experience with breastfeeding. It has been rough and emotional for me, but I have come to accept that the attempt has failed and I know that I tried all I could to make it work. Natali is healthy and happy and that is all that matters.
Breastfeeding started off going well. They had me start nursing within an hour after the c-section. That first session was good. Natali latched right away and knew exactly what to do. The next few sessions were hit or miss, but we kept working on it and things started going pretty well. We didn't have any problems nursing. The lactation consultant came by a few times during the time we were in the hospital, and the nurses were very helpful as well. Things only went down hill right before we checked out of the hospital. Right before we checked out they did one last check with the pediatrician and came back to tell me that her jaundice levels had risen to the "low intermediate risk" range and that she had lost about 10% of her body weight, so they were a bit concerned. They said the best way to get her jaundice levels down was to make sure she pooped more, and they figured my milk wasn't in yet, so maybe I should supplement her with a bit of formula for the next day or so to get her weight going up and her jaundice levels down. Well, this really freaked me out. I didn't want my baby to get sick or lose more weight, so I was perfectly happy to supplement her for a bit. They scheduled me for an appointment at the breastfeeding support center for the next day so they could check her weight and jaundice again.
So, we went home and I began giving Natali formula. We got a bunch of formula for free in the mail, so we have plenty to give her. I didn't mind doing it. I also got myself a hand breastpump. I had an electric one my sister gave me, but I didn't have the tubes I needed for it and I could only get them online. The hand pump would work for a couple of days. I started to pump to try and bring my milk in. At every session I could only pump about .5 ounces between both breasts. It was pretty sad. They say it can take up to 5 days for your milk to come in, so at this point I still wasn't concerned. My appointment the next day was pretty good. The supplementing worked and Natali had gained 4.5 ounces from the previous day. Her jaundice levels were still a bit elevated, but they decided to just make me another appointment for the very next day to check her again. In the meantime I was still supposed to supplement her and feed her everything I could pump out. They even gave me the tubes I needed for the electric pump. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the pump to work properly. I figured I must be doing something wrong, so I just set it aside and used the hand pump. I took the electric one in with me the next day to see if they could help me with it.
When I went in for my appointment on Monday morning Natali had gained another 2 ounces, and her jaundice levels had dropped significantly. Then I learned that the motor on my pump had failed and couldn't be used. My milk still hadn't come in by this point and I was getting frustrated. It was 5 days after delivery and I should have something by now. The nurses said to just keep trying and pumping and it should work. I went ahead and rented one of their electric pumps because I couldn't take hand pumping anymore. So, we kept up with the formula and I kept pumping and feeding her all I could. I would pump every 3 hours, and the most I ever pumped in a session was 1 ounce. Most of the time it was around half an ounce. Natali is supposed to be drinking around 18 ounces per day, so I was giving her almost nothing. I still had a shred of hope at this point, but the pumping was really getting annoying. I tried all day Monday, and Tuesday and never could get any more. The amount I pumped even started to decrease.
Well, today Natali is a week old (yay!) and I tried pumping one last time this morning. My milk production now is almost non-existant, so I am calling it quits. I gave it my best effort, but apparently I just can't produce milk. It is disappointing, but I'm over it now. Formula works just fine.
I really think my body just isn't meant for having children. It seems there is a roadblock at every turn. First it was the miscarriages and I had to be on blood thinners and extra medication just to maintain the pregnancy. Then, I couldn't have a natural birth. My doctor says once she opened me up she noticed something about my uterus that would have made it impossible to ever give birth naturally. I can't remember exactly what it was, but I believe she said my cervix extended up into my uterus, so it wouldn't ever fully dilate and that's why my labor never progressed. Now, added to all that is the fact that I can't produce milk. If all this modern technology didn't exist I wouldn't have my pretty little girl. I am extremely thankful for my wonderful doctor for getting me through all of this! I feel like maybe I shouldn't push my luck though. If it has been this difficult to get here, maybe we should just quit while we're ahead. I know Darren just wants one child, but I can't say that at the moment. I can say it would be at least 3 years before I would want to try again. We'll see. I'm just happy for the baby I have right now though. We are going to enjoy every minute with her. :)
Breastfeeding started off going well. They had me start nursing within an hour after the c-section. That first session was good. Natali latched right away and knew exactly what to do. The next few sessions were hit or miss, but we kept working on it and things started going pretty well. We didn't have any problems nursing. The lactation consultant came by a few times during the time we were in the hospital, and the nurses were very helpful as well. Things only went down hill right before we checked out of the hospital. Right before we checked out they did one last check with the pediatrician and came back to tell me that her jaundice levels had risen to the "low intermediate risk" range and that she had lost about 10% of her body weight, so they were a bit concerned. They said the best way to get her jaundice levels down was to make sure she pooped more, and they figured my milk wasn't in yet, so maybe I should supplement her with a bit of formula for the next day or so to get her weight going up and her jaundice levels down. Well, this really freaked me out. I didn't want my baby to get sick or lose more weight, so I was perfectly happy to supplement her for a bit. They scheduled me for an appointment at the breastfeeding support center for the next day so they could check her weight and jaundice again.
So, we went home and I began giving Natali formula. We got a bunch of formula for free in the mail, so we have plenty to give her. I didn't mind doing it. I also got myself a hand breastpump. I had an electric one my sister gave me, but I didn't have the tubes I needed for it and I could only get them online. The hand pump would work for a couple of days. I started to pump to try and bring my milk in. At every session I could only pump about .5 ounces between both breasts. It was pretty sad. They say it can take up to 5 days for your milk to come in, so at this point I still wasn't concerned. My appointment the next day was pretty good. The supplementing worked and Natali had gained 4.5 ounces from the previous day. Her jaundice levels were still a bit elevated, but they decided to just make me another appointment for the very next day to check her again. In the meantime I was still supposed to supplement her and feed her everything I could pump out. They even gave me the tubes I needed for the electric pump. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the pump to work properly. I figured I must be doing something wrong, so I just set it aside and used the hand pump. I took the electric one in with me the next day to see if they could help me with it.
When I went in for my appointment on Monday morning Natali had gained another 2 ounces, and her jaundice levels had dropped significantly. Then I learned that the motor on my pump had failed and couldn't be used. My milk still hadn't come in by this point and I was getting frustrated. It was 5 days after delivery and I should have something by now. The nurses said to just keep trying and pumping and it should work. I went ahead and rented one of their electric pumps because I couldn't take hand pumping anymore. So, we kept up with the formula and I kept pumping and feeding her all I could. I would pump every 3 hours, and the most I ever pumped in a session was 1 ounce. Most of the time it was around half an ounce. Natali is supposed to be drinking around 18 ounces per day, so I was giving her almost nothing. I still had a shred of hope at this point, but the pumping was really getting annoying. I tried all day Monday, and Tuesday and never could get any more. The amount I pumped even started to decrease.
Well, today Natali is a week old (yay!) and I tried pumping one last time this morning. My milk production now is almost non-existant, so I am calling it quits. I gave it my best effort, but apparently I just can't produce milk. It is disappointing, but I'm over it now. Formula works just fine.
I really think my body just isn't meant for having children. It seems there is a roadblock at every turn. First it was the miscarriages and I had to be on blood thinners and extra medication just to maintain the pregnancy. Then, I couldn't have a natural birth. My doctor says once she opened me up she noticed something about my uterus that would have made it impossible to ever give birth naturally. I can't remember exactly what it was, but I believe she said my cervix extended up into my uterus, so it wouldn't ever fully dilate and that's why my labor never progressed. Now, added to all that is the fact that I can't produce milk. If all this modern technology didn't exist I wouldn't have my pretty little girl. I am extremely thankful for my wonderful doctor for getting me through all of this! I feel like maybe I shouldn't push my luck though. If it has been this difficult to get here, maybe we should just quit while we're ahead. I know Darren just wants one child, but I can't say that at the moment. I can say it would be at least 3 years before I would want to try again. We'll see. I'm just happy for the baby I have right now though. We are going to enjoy every minute with her. :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I am still alive and almost well again
I know I have been MIA for a week. Darren has been doing an excellent job of keeping updates while I recover and deal with various issues that have cropped up (breastfeeding!!). I will discuss these other issues in detail, but for this post I want to just say how blessed I am to have such a beautiful, perfect daughter and the most wonderful husband ever!
Natali is an absolute doll! She is pretty perfect in my opinion. She is an extremely content baby. She has long sleep periods, midnight to 5am last night (yay for me!), and really long awake periods where she just hangs out and takes in the world. She cries only rarely, mostly when she has gas or is upset about a dirty diaper, which are both perfectly valid reasons to cry. :) I am still recovering from the c-section, but it's definitely easier to recover when your baby is so good, and when your mom and husband are so helpful all the time.
Darren has been the most perfect father. I always thought he'd come through in the end, but with all his talk you just never know. I could never have guessed how wonderful he would be with his daughter. He is so in love with her it's crazy! He really is a baby hog and never wants to put her down when he is home, which is absolutely fine with me. She needs her daddy. He makes bottles and feeds her, and changes diapers really well! That is the most amazing part of it all. I never thought he would be so good at diaper changes. He changed a poopy diaper from the very first night. His only squeamish moment came when Natali decided to continue pooping after he had already taken the dirty diaper off. I had to jump in and rescue him on that one, but otherwise he has been great. We definitely make a good parenting team, and with all we have been through in the last few years, and this past week, it makes me love him even more.
My mom has been in town since we went into the hospital, and she has been absolutely great to have around. Darren and I have been doing our best, but we are totally clueless about babies. Mom has been a great source of information on what to do in any situation. She had 4 kids of her own, so we listen to her for the most part. She definitely knows what she's talking about. She has been very helpful feeding and changing, etc. too, and she has been doing laundry and organizing Natali's things in her room as well. She drives me around to my appointments or quick errands too. Darren has been working still, so I couldn't do much without her. She leaves tomorrow morning and then I will have Wednesday and Thursday when Darren works and I will be on my own. I think I'm well enough to handle it. Darren is off Friday, and then we leave sometime on Saturday for our big trip and I will have lots of family around very willing to help out. :) I'm looking forward to it!
I think the hardest adjustment has been for the dogs. They have all been very good for the most part, but they are in the way sometimes. The poor things have been sent to their beds more often than they are used to. I think once Natali has been around a while and we have a routine down they will settle down around her. Doogie is the worst offender. He just wants to be near Natali and lick her, but he doesn't really know how to be gentle enough. We are constantly pushing him away, and he likes to jump up when we are standing and holding her. I think he too will settle down, but it will take some time and patience with him. I was concerned that Darren would totally lose any patience he used to have with them once Natali was around, but he really hasn't. The dogs aren't going anywhere, so we really need to make an effort to integrate them in our new schedule. I'm confident it will all work out though.
I will update on other things in another post. It has been an emotional week and while everything is great, there have been issues with breastfeeding and jaundice and recovery that have been rough on me.
Natali is an absolute doll! She is pretty perfect in my opinion. She is an extremely content baby. She has long sleep periods, midnight to 5am last night (yay for me!), and really long awake periods where she just hangs out and takes in the world. She cries only rarely, mostly when she has gas or is upset about a dirty diaper, which are both perfectly valid reasons to cry. :) I am still recovering from the c-section, but it's definitely easier to recover when your baby is so good, and when your mom and husband are so helpful all the time.
Darren has been the most perfect father. I always thought he'd come through in the end, but with all his talk you just never know. I could never have guessed how wonderful he would be with his daughter. He is so in love with her it's crazy! He really is a baby hog and never wants to put her down when he is home, which is absolutely fine with me. She needs her daddy. He makes bottles and feeds her, and changes diapers really well! That is the most amazing part of it all. I never thought he would be so good at diaper changes. He changed a poopy diaper from the very first night. His only squeamish moment came when Natali decided to continue pooping after he had already taken the dirty diaper off. I had to jump in and rescue him on that one, but otherwise he has been great. We definitely make a good parenting team, and with all we have been through in the last few years, and this past week, it makes me love him even more.
My mom has been in town since we went into the hospital, and she has been absolutely great to have around. Darren and I have been doing our best, but we are totally clueless about babies. Mom has been a great source of information on what to do in any situation. She had 4 kids of her own, so we listen to her for the most part. She definitely knows what she's talking about. She has been very helpful feeding and changing, etc. too, and she has been doing laundry and organizing Natali's things in her room as well. She drives me around to my appointments or quick errands too. Darren has been working still, so I couldn't do much without her. She leaves tomorrow morning and then I will have Wednesday and Thursday when Darren works and I will be on my own. I think I'm well enough to handle it. Darren is off Friday, and then we leave sometime on Saturday for our big trip and I will have lots of family around very willing to help out. :) I'm looking forward to it!
I think the hardest adjustment has been for the dogs. They have all been very good for the most part, but they are in the way sometimes. The poor things have been sent to their beds more often than they are used to. I think once Natali has been around a while and we have a routine down they will settle down around her. Doogie is the worst offender. He just wants to be near Natali and lick her, but he doesn't really know how to be gentle enough. We are constantly pushing him away, and he likes to jump up when we are standing and holding her. I think he too will settle down, but it will take some time and patience with him. I was concerned that Darren would totally lose any patience he used to have with them once Natali was around, but he really hasn't. The dogs aren't going anywhere, so we really need to make an effort to integrate them in our new schedule. I'm confident it will all work out though.
I will update on other things in another post. It has been an emotional week and while everything is great, there have been issues with breastfeeding and jaundice and recovery that have been rough on me.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
First Day at Home
Very nice day. She is still very quiet, just a handful of short lived flare ups of crying. Kelli had a bit of a rough day emotionally, but I will let her elaborate on that if she choses. Finally, Just a few photos from her first day at home. Click on them for a larger image.
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We're home
Yesterday was busy. Last night in the hospital was the best. Natali is a very sound sleeper. Only waking up when we want her too for the most part.
The nurses stated we would likely be released after noon. I had to go to work to fly a Cleveland turn. That left Kelli and my mother in law to take care of things.
Kelli was a bit overwhelmed with all of the information being given from various nurses. Natali was a little jaundice. At the last minute they stated she might have to stay overnight. They gave her a blood test and the results showed she was okay to go home, but has to go back today for a checkup.
The first night at home was great. Natali slept the entire night except when we woke her up too eat. We did have to start using formula to help with the jaundice. Kelli isn't producing much milk yet. Formula as a back up.
At first I enjoyed Natali being so relaxed. Now its a bit annoying took an hour of moving, proding, talk too and walking around to wake her up. I finally had to resort to using a small piece of ice on her thigh. Even then she only stayed awake for a minute or two.
Kelli should be posting a nice long post today or tomorrow. Still fairly tired.
The nurses stated we would likely be released after noon. I had to go to work to fly a Cleveland turn. That left Kelli and my mother in law to take care of things.
Kelli was a bit overwhelmed with all of the information being given from various nurses. Natali was a little jaundice. At the last minute they stated she might have to stay overnight. They gave her a blood test and the results showed she was okay to go home, but has to go back today for a checkup.
The first night at home was great. Natali slept the entire night except when we woke her up too eat. We did have to start using formula to help with the jaundice. Kelli isn't producing much milk yet. Formula as a back up.
At first I enjoyed Natali being so relaxed. Now its a bit annoying took an hour of moving, proding, talk too and walking around to wake her up. I finally had to resort to using a small piece of ice on her thigh. Even then she only stayed awake for a minute or two.
Kelli should be posting a nice long post today or tomorrow. Still fairly tired.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Day 3
Natali is 2 days old as of 20 minutes ago.
Sleeps a lot. Cries very little. Stretches a lot.
She spent a good deal of time on my lap as I played on my computer.
Kelli is more mobile. No more IV's, or anything else. Showered and is wearing normal clothes. On pain meds. Having a problem with bowel movements and gas. Hasn't eaten much. She's looking forward to going home tomorrow.
Today was another amazing day.
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Sleeps a lot. Cries very little. Stretches a lot.
She spent a good deal of time on my lap as I played on my computer.
Kelli is more mobile. No more IV's, or anything else. Showered and is wearing normal clothes. On pain meds. Having a problem with bowel movements and gas. Hasn't eaten much. She's looking forward to going home tomorrow.
Today was another amazing day.
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The Name
Natali Amelia Winnell Byrd....quite the name eh? Two middle names? Well I had two middle names growing up so I figured my daughter should as well.
Natali - we agreed on this name a few months ago. I got the spelling from Natali Del Conte who is a technology news reporter for CBS and CNet TV.
Amelia - I love flying. Kelli loves the name. Thus Amelia after Amelia Erhart.
Winnell - my dear mothers name. My mom passed away 10 years ago, the day after I came home from college. I was very close to my mother. Growing up my mom started and ran her own adoption agency. She loved babies. I am very much a product of my mother in more ways than the obvious.
Byrd - Seems to fit as this is the last name Kelli and I use.
Natali - we agreed on this name a few months ago. I got the spelling from Natali Del Conte who is a technology news reporter for CBS and CNet TV.
Amelia - I love flying. Kelli loves the name. Thus Amelia after Amelia Erhart.
Winnell - my dear mothers name. My mom passed away 10 years ago, the day after I came home from college. I was very close to my mother. Growing up my mom started and ran her own adoption agency. She loved babies. I am very much a product of my mother in more ways than the obvious.
Byrd - Seems to fit as this is the last name Kelli and I use.
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