6 weeks

I am 6 weeks pregnant today. I had my HCG checked last Monday and it was 3900! That is a really great number, so I was pretty happy, but over the last few days I haven't been feeling like things were going well. It was just a lot of panicked thoughts. I wasn't too excited for my doctor's appointment this morning, thinking things weren't going well. I wasn't sure what the doctor was going to do. She ended up wanting to do an ultrasound, which had me even more worried. I have never had a good ultrasound. I've never made it far enough to see a heartbeat and I wasn't sure this time if I was far enough along to see one. However, things look great! There was a heartbeat and it looked and sounded perfect! I am very relieved. That's another hurdle passed. I am still nervous, but feeling a bit better about it all. I go back in for another ultrasound on the 13th, so hopefully everything still looks good. I will probably start panicking again in a few days or so. I probably won't feel totally fine until after the first trimester, only another 6 weeks to go! Here is a picture they made from the ultrasound today. There isn't much to see, but I thought I'd add it anyway.

5 weeks

I am exactly 5 weeks pregnant today. I have been trying to pretend like I'm not pregnant for the last several days. I didn't want to get my hopes up too high. I am still trying not to get my hopes up, but I get a glimmer of hope today. I had my blood drawn a 2nd time last Thursday and got a call with the results today. My HCG had risen to 560, which means a doubling time of 1.3 days. I actually found a website to calculate it. :) That is very good news. My doctor wanted to check my levels every 3 days until they reach 1500, so they were well on their way last week. I had my blood drawn again today. By my calculations I should be at the very least 2250 today, but probably more in the 3000-4000 range based on my previous doubling time. If they are that high it would be really excellent news. I'm anxiously awaiting those results. Hopefully I will hear tomorrow, if not then Wednesday. I am now on my 7th day of Lovenox injections. It has been pretty easy to do. I have several tiny bruises, but they aren't really much at all. As far as other symptoms go, I haven't been really sick. I feel a bit off when I eat sometimes, but I haven't wanted to throw up at all. I am extremely exhausted though, and I get dizzy once in a while. My boobs also constantly hurt, so I guess those are all good signs. Its just a big waiting game now. It will be really nice to see a heartbeat on an ultrasound. I'm not sure when that will happen, but hopefully within the next couple of weeks. I see the doctor for the 1st time next Monday and I will definitely discuss it with her.

Pregnant

I got a positive pregnancy test on Sunday afternoon. It was a bit of a shock actually because I really didn't think I was pregnant this month. I wasn't even going to take the test, but decided to for whatever reason. I took another one the next morning just to be on the safe side. :) So, now the fun begins. I called the doctor on Monday morning and made an appointment for the 28th. I couldn't get one before that. I don't really need it though. What I really needed was the Lovenox prescription. That's the injectable blood thinner I have to be on for this to hopefully work. My doctor wanted to do a blood test first to confirm the pregnancy and get a baseline on my hormone levels. I had my blood drawn Monday afternoon and got the results today. The nurse called and told me my progesterone levels are very high, so that's great news. Then she said the HCG level is a bit low, 117, but that is probably because its so early in the pregnancy. At this point I choose to believe that. I have to get my HCG levels checked every three days now until they reach at least 1500. So, I go back on Thursday for another blood draw. Here's hoping it is at least 500 by then. That's what it should be by my calculations. I'm trying not to get too hung up on that number though.

Today I got my blood thinner prescription filled and then drove up to the doctor's office to get an injection lesson. The syringes are pre-filled and the needles are really small, so its extremely easy. The nurse said I did a great job for my first time and it didn't hurt at all. I was pleasantly surprised because I have been dreading this part. I can do this for 9 months without a problem, so that's one less thing to worry about. I'm trying to remain optimistic about this pregnancy, but its still hard. I just keep thinking its going to end badly again. I guess time will tell. There is no use in worrying about it.

If everything works out correctly my due date (according to the internet) is August 23rd. Of course, I will be induced at least 2 weeks prior to that time, so the baby will most likely be born in the first week of August. I really hope the third time is the charm!

Live firing range

We are on a live firing range. Kelli thought she was knocked up this month. Pregnancy test showed negative. Then the monthly visitor arrived. We will try again next time. Meantime we are thinking of hitting Vegas next month.

GATTACA

Gattca....not only a great movie....also a part of the DNA strand. Tonight my wife and I were discussing offspring and the topic of prenatal testing came up. A "discussion" followed.

I am in the belief that, if possible, why not have the most perfect child possible? If prenatal testing shows birth defects, then that's just nature's way of saying "oops". These "oops" happen. They have happened twice before too us. If prenatal testing shows Down Syndrome....I would rather not complete the pregnancy. My wife on the other hand thinks I am crazy.

And with this post, Byrdintheoven.com is re-acivated.

Not always easy

A good friend of mine is a single mother of a newborn. She is going through of one of the things I fear. Low/no money while having to take care of a kid. I can eat on crap food from McDonalds if we ever get low on money. Babies have no teeth. Here is a small portion of her blog over at http://geekandkid.com/

I’ve learned what it means to go to bed hungry – and not just because I’m on a starvation diet again! :P I’ve learned how to set a budget for meals for myself for under $10 a week. Sure, it’s not the healthiest of food, but it works…
It’s painful to fill up my car, even though I have a much more economical gas tank now than with my truck… it makes me sigh every time I withdraw money for daycare… I now make sure I have at least 3 giant cans of formula in the house (using the coupons the formula companies send it’s almost affordable) to ensure that my son is well fed… but it still makes me sigh when I have to buy it… I’ve switched to Luvs diapers (they really ARE just as good as the expensive brands and do work just as well…), I switched my dog and cats to a cheaper brand of food – they are doing just fine on it… I no longer have internet access or tv service in my house… (I pilfer wireless signals from neighbours when needed…)… a good friend sends me the clothes her son outgrows so I can hold off buying clothes for a bit…

I always have backup plans. I have them when it's not even needed. It's part of who I am. I like being in control....the first two tries at having a kid showed me I can't control everything.

Waffling

We are still hanging out. Kelli is all in. I am pretty in. What's the hold up? Well me. I really like our lifestyle. Being able to wake up on a Saturday morning and have one of us say, "hey let's go to the Aquarium.....in Atlanta," and then GO to Atlanta is fun. I like being free. I don't care much for Kelli's dogs. They are hers. I let them outside and give them water. Beyond that I am free from making sure they stay alive.

People who have kids always say it's different when it's YOUR kid. Apparently when one has a kid their lives become better. I'm very skeptical. People who have kids HAVE to say that. They can't say, "oh god this sucks. I hate that we had a kid!" I mean it's the same reason no one says "my baby is ugly," even if it really is ugly. No one can say their baby is ugly.

Will we have a kid? Don't know. I am waffling. Unlike a lease, once you have a kid it's yours for the next 18 years. Maybe someone should start a kid leasing business. Hmmm....I bet there is a law against it. Damn the man.

Kelli is very understanding of my feelings. Two years ago I was gung ho. After the first loss I was torn apart. We had an "oops" and got pregnant again. The loss after that one was worse than the first. I was really scared off having a kid.

Since then Kelli had been put on a regimen of pills and tonics. Ok no tonics...but pills and everything *should* be okay. But what if it's not? No one can say it will be okay....because they don't know. Of course one won't know if they don't try. Waffling.

How long will I waffle? Well this website is paid up through May 2010. If we decide to go for it there will be a post. If we call everything off....then this website will cease to exist.

Till something happens I welcome you to enjoy the antics of our other fine websites, Stillageek.com and Richmo32.com