Thursday, September 13, 2007

Starting Over

I had my two week follow-up appointment with my doctor today. I am in perfect health, my uterus is back to normal, and all is well. She did tell me that an analysis of the products of conception (that's the scientific term for tissue removed from the uterus) did not show any fetal tissue. I'm glad she told me. It makes me feel better to know that my baby didn't die, it just never grew in the first place. When we get pregnant again we will be going in for an early sonogram at 7 or 8 weeks. I will be feeling somewhat nervous until that time, so I'm really glad we will do it early this time. If we see an actual fetus at that first sonogram I will be very relieved and not worried anymore. I know things could still go wrong after that, but it would be a big comfort to actually see that a baby was developing, rather than the "black hole" of an empty embryonic sac we saw last time. The doctor also said we need to wait to try again until after I have had one cycle. I am hopefully back on a normal cycle now, so we should be able to start trying again in October. Until that time we need to use an alternative method of birth control. Its such a funny thing to have to consider. I haven't had to think about something like that for a very long time. I still felt embarassed in the store today as I was purchasing our "alternative method of birth control". I know I shouldn't feel embarassed about it, but I was. I was also embarrased when I had to go to the store for a pregnancy test. I do look young, and I am always paranoid that people will think I got pregnant "accidentally". I went through the self check out when I had to do it. Darren doesn't want to go to the store for condoms. He says that if a married man goes in to buy condoms everyone will think he is cheating on his wife. I think that is a ridiculous notion. Oh well, at least we won't have to worry about it for very long, hopefully just a couple of weeks. Darren is leaving for Florida on Saturday morning, and he is gone for a full week already. I guess it won't be too much of an issue after all. I am going out to a big party at the House of Blues tomorrow night. Its being hosted by Perez Hilton and it should be a lot of fun! Darren isn't going because his flight is really early Saturday morning. I wish he could come join the fun, but i'm just going to get really drunk anyway so it won't really matter if he is there. I figure if I'm not pregnant I might as well have one good drunken night before starting again. :)

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