I've debated this post. It has been started and stopped several times.
When Kelli and I met we wanted zero kids. None. Nadda. We were destined to be DINKs (Dual Income No Kids).
Life was good. Then I started flight training. I began thinking about being gone for days at a time and Kelli bored at home with two dogs.
While I was living in Florida working as a flight instructor I brought up the idea of having a kid. Kelli was confused but agreeable. Thus (with two hiccups) came Natali.
Natali has changed our lives for the better. I can't imagine waking up without her. If I were asked to list the traits I would want in a child and those I'd rather not have....Natali fits my list perfectly.
She is funny, reserved, inquisitive, kind and caring. Natali doesn't take risk and doesn't care for strangers. She is an easy kid.
But what about the second child?
I've been a "one and done" person from the first day we brought Natali home. The plan was for none....then one....never two.
When the topic came up it was always "we will wait until Natali is five" as Kelli has a device implanted that last for 5 years.
Of course Natali just turned 4.
I'm still in the "one and done" camp. Kelli is not.
We've planned our lives around just one kid. Finances, house...even our cars.
Now that two of our friends have two kids each...the topic of our second kid has come up again.
Unlike some people, Kelli and I research everything we do that involves finances. We discuss and plan for anything that cost more than $50. Eating a meal outside the home is maybe a once a month affair (excluding my flying gig). We are cautious spenders. We like having a reserve...a backup plan...a "what if crap hits the fan" plan.
Kelli "ran the numbers" on a second kid and somehow made them work. Not sure where she found the extra $900 a month for a kid but she claims she did.
I'm still no. It's a difficult problem to solve as there has to be a loser and winner. I can't think of a compromise. I suppose I could offer to get a pet iguana?
Exactly 9 months until Natali turns 5. Lots of time to discuss. I really don't want to go through the sleepless nights, diapers, crying, carrying extra bags, and did I say diapers?
Maybe we should have had the second kid right away like many people do. That time has sailed though.
Just posting this to document that the topic is out there. No solution yet.